When you count weeks you don't really realize how fast things are going. Forty weeks seems like forever. twenty is still alot. Even ten. So when I looked at my calendar to mark a dentist appointment it was a huge shock to me to see that my due date is next month. Not only that but this month is half over.
I started scrambling.
Myself and Kevin moved into a different room in our house, which I'm more then sure kick started labor.
I lost my mucus plug, and baby L dropped, and I have had not one but two contractions. They've stopped so I'm not overly worried. And my water has not broken, but things are definatly progressing now.
Everyone has been saying my whole pregnancy "just wait, soon you will want her out, soon you will hate being pregnant"
But as my due date gets closer I want her to stay in there more and more. Not just because I like being pregnant, but because I'm simply not ready.
We still have a few things to buy, our room is far from being cleaned and organized for her, our car is filthy, my hospital bag is not packed, the diaper bag is not packed, my house is not cleaned, I truly don't believe Kevin has fully realized that there is a baby coming, and mainly - I'm just not ready. I'm young and scared and never thought I would be having a baby at the age of twenty. But never the less it is happening and fast. Whether I'm ready or not she is coming. As terrified as I am, I'm excited too. I want to hold her and love her and take care of her. I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to be the best mom I can for her. I know I'll never win mom of the year or anything, but if she is happy and safe, I'll consider myself successful.
Everything will be fine. As soon as she comes your mom instinct will kick in and everything will fall into place. And just wanting to be the best mom you can be for her will win you best mom of the year from her. Just remember try and stay calm things will be ok. You will get things done in time and if you dont oh well.
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