Ambition.

It's quite often that I have days when I'm all like "woah man. life altering thought. I'm gonna change everything about myself and be better !" Then a few days go by and I'm like "eff it." WELL THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT.

At one point in time I was all bubbly and friendly and loved everyone....most of you are laughing right now but I swear it's true haha. Why I changed isn't important, the fact is that I changed. While I am impeccably happy with the person I am, I also enjoyed qualities about myself that I used to have. So over the course of this next year I am going to try to implement some of those old qualities. I'm not really going to "change" things about me - as that is not my goal. I'm more looking to enhance the good things about myself and make them more apparent to others. I will do this month to month. Since it is only November right now I will do a 13 month timeline. The goals shall go as followed

December of 2012 - I will ATTEMPT (this is capitalized because this is going to be a incredibly difficult thing for me to do, but it must be done before I am able to move on.) to stop focusing on how stupid people are and try to concentrate on the good things about each individual.

January of 2013 - Less sarcasm. This goes with the previous month, I will continue to use sarcasm as a form of good humour, I will be using it less in the form of making fun of people.

Febuary of 2013 - Another difficult one, as I am torn on how to accomplish this goal. As you all know I am an incredibly opinionated person, and I openly voice those opinions whether people want to hear them or not. I was not born this way, it's something I acquired throughout my life, and at certain points in my life it was absolutely vital that I voiced each and every opinion I had, now it's a way for me to fight with people as my opinions very rarely match other peoples opinions. My goal is this - I'm not going to change my opinions, I'm not going to stop voicing my opinions. But I am going to to hold back some opinions that I know will offend some people (an example is my opinion on abortions, it's a touchy subject, and if I know it will hurt someone or cause an argument I will simply hold back from blurting it out.)

March of 2013 - Argue less. The best way for me to describe my reasoning for this one is I like to be right. So if I can argue any point you make so I can be right, I will argue it. I'd like to stop this habit  I need to learn to let-go of winning everything and just be comfortable with whatever people think or say.

April of 2013 - This may not make sense to alot of people, but I am going to start being mean. It doesn't always come across this way but often I feel the need to make sure everyone is happy, so I go out of my way to do things for them I don't really want to do. In other words, I'm going to say no alot. This is will be a drastic change for me as it's in my nature to generally go with the flow, which has been fine and usually is a good quality to have, but lately people have been walking all over me. When I say no, I mean no folks. This is not a goal I wish to keep forever, but I do need to implement it in my life. After I've accomplished it I will then work on finding a happy in-between.

May of 2013 - Talk less do more. I genuinely want to be more involved in worlds issues, I often say I want to donate to a cause, or volunteer for another cause. My goal for this month is to actually do it - not just say it.

June of 2013 - Talk more, do less. I need to figure out how to stop acting the most smart, the most funny, the most caring, etc. I want to talk more to show how I really am smart, and funny and caring and all that other good stuff. If I'm acting a way that people don't understand it doesn't do much good. But if I can make them understand things about me with my words, then I feel I'm moving in the right direction.

July of 2013 - Get more excited about things. the words "have to" show up in my vocabulary alot. "I have to put loganne to bed. I have to go grocery shopping. I have to check the mail." All incredibly simple things that most people would never think twice about - but the fact is these things are all I have in my life as a stay at home mom. Maybe something good will be in the mail. I GET TO cuddle with loganne till she is asleep. I get to go and pick out delicious things from the grocery store. Life should be fun, not a list of things I can't get out of.

August of 2013 - This is my birthday month, so I've decided to use this month to be less greedy. falling into the month of May, I'd like to do things such as ask people to give money to charities for my birthday, I want to compliment others more and make them feel special, and focus less on what it is I want.

September of 2013 -  Back to school month. At this point in time (i mean right now) It's hard for me to focus on my career and educational goals, because money is tight and I have a young daughter and because kevin is in school. In September it is unrealistic to say I'll be done my school and working. But I want to have every plan and detail worked out for when I am able to start that part of my life.

October of 2013 - I want to use this month to find ways to improve my relationships with people, whether it is already a good relationship or not. Ie Kevin,  my mom, my mother and father in-law, my brothers, and old friends of mine.

November of 2013 - Stop fixing things. I'm awful to bring a problem too because I need to fix it. I've never had the type of life to sit and just complain about something. I've always been in situations where I needed to fix it. I don't want to fix things anymore - the worlds problems are not MY problems.

December of 2013 - The final and most important month. I left this for last because at this time, it is the last goal I have for myself, and it is not limited to December of 2013, I hope this quality will go on through out my life, even if the others disappear again. I want to be more comfortable with me.  I don't mean my body, or my clothes or anything like that, just in general as a person. I want to be happy with choices I make. With activities I do, things I eat, things I say, and everything else amber related. In other words, be more confident.


This is alot to cram into 13 months. And I'm incredibly stubborn, so to think I can accomplish these things in a month each is a bit of a stretch. I've timed these things in the months they are in so I can carry-on these qualities throughout the year and years to come. I don't want to promise myself to lose weight or quit smoking or something like that, that no one ever succeeds in. I want to really better myself beneath the surface and ultimately be the type of person I want my daughter to be. I welcome all to join me on these upcoming months and try to implement some of these changes in yourself as well.